The 1961 Hansard trawl, featuring, inter alia, Denis Healey, the 'common market' and smoking

Another Hansard ramble, this time from October 1961.

What about this little nail bomb? (my emphases):

THE EARL OF MANSFIELD asked Her Majesty's Government:

If, when negotiating for entry into the Common Market, they will make it clear to the other countries concerned that such entry on the part of Great Britain will be possible only if we retain the right to withdraw from such an association at a later date, on due notice given, and under previously agreed conditions, should it be subsequently found that continued membership would be dangerous, or prejudicial, to our national prosperity or way of life.

THE JOINT PARLIAMENTARY UNDER-SECRETARY OF STATE FOR FOREIGN AFFAIRS (THE MARQUESS OF LANSDOWNE) The Treaty of Rome contains no provisions for withdrawal or denunciation. Any proposal for the inclusion of such provisions would go beyond the adjustments to the Treaty provided for in Article 237. Under Article 236, proposals for amending the Treaty can be made by the Government of any member State or by the Commission and require unanimous approval. If Her Majesty's Government had come to the conclusion that British membership of the E.E.C. would be dangerous or prejudicial to our national prosperity or way of life, they would not have decided to apply to open negotiations with a view to acceding, on suitable terms, to the Treaty of Rome.

We wuz warned.....  Mungo David Malcolm Murray, 7th Earl of Mansfield and Mansfield (we heard you the first time...) did not live to see us accede to the Common Market, if my calculations are correct.


And so to older friends / partners etc:

THE EARL OF HARROWBY asked Her Majesty's Government:What Department has inherited the duties and propaganda of the pre-war Empire Marketing Board and whether modernised publicity, along the invaluable lines on which they worked, can be re-introduced to-day.

An Empire marketing board, eh?  Sounds like a pretty challenging job for even the most efficient of marketeers, but perhaps quite entertaining.  Maybe one would get a governorship rather than equity as a reward for a job well done.    As to the answer, that is far too dull to be worth quoting.

On a day, and in the junior chamber, this:

Mr. Strachey  (by Private Notice) asked the Minister of Aviation whether he is aware of the growing public concern over the recent accidents to aircraft belonging to private airlines, including the Dakota aircraft that crashed near Carlisle on 17th October; whether he will give the number of fatal accidents per million passenger miles flown for aircraft of the private airlines and the public Corporations respectively during 1960 and 1961 to date; and whether he will issue new and stricter safety regulations for all aircraft on charter flights.

The Parliamentary Secretary to the Ministry of Aviation (Mr. C. M. Woodhouse)  My right hon. Friend is indeed aware of the growing public concern over the recent accidents to aircraft belonging to private airlines and he shares it. He is today on a flight gaining background knowledge to assist him in considering the problems involved, and that is why I apologise for being here on his behalf.

I think he survived.

Some interesting comments from Denis Healey in a foreign affairs debate:

Mr. Denis Healey (Leeds, East) The second day of this debate on foreign affairs is, inevitably, overshadowed by the statement made at the Soviet Communist Party Congress yesterday by Chairman Khrushchev that the Soviet Government intend to explode a 50 megaton bomb in about a fortnight from now. All of us are by now used to the tedious bluster about Russia's atomic striking power in which Mr. Khrushchev so frequently indulges, and I do not think that there is any evidence that anyone in the West has so far been deflected from his course by this type of rocket rattling.

.......

After all, for Germans and, I think, for anyone who cares for human freedom, the closing of the frontier between East and West Berlin on 13th August was one of the most monstrously inhuman acts carried out by any Government in the last fifteen years. There is no doubt that public opinion in Western Germany was stunned by this act and was equally stunned by the failure of the allied Governments to do anything about it....There is no doubt that a final solution of the European problem must depend on the reunification of Germany. History teaches us that we cannot build a stable peace on the division of a great nation against its will. Incidentally, no one knows this better than the Poles. Moreover, the possibility of German reunification will remain alive so long as West Berlin is free. But German reunification can come only by the consent of all concerned. It is now finally revealed that it cannot come by force or by the threat of force.

Away from the particular to the philosophical:

Against this background I deplore the tendency which seems to me to have been growing in leading Government spokesmen in the last few weeks to pose as crusaders for spiritual values in the struggle against the world's materialists. Frankly, I think this sort of posture striking comes no better from them than it did from Mr. Foster Dulles—especially when the temple of their religion is the bingo parlour and when their first beatitude is "You have never had it so good." [HON. MEMBERS: "Cheap."]

One has to hand it to the old bruiser, he has a way with words.  He's still with us, and now 94. A civilian friend who served him in a shop some years back said he was charming and unassuming.

And so to '[the] custom loathsome to the eye, hateful to the nose, harmful to the brain, dangerous to the lungs, and in the black stinking fume thereof nearest resembling the horrible stygian smoke of the pit that is bottomless' (in James I's reckoning):

Mr. Francis Noel-Baker (Swindon) I wish to attempt to draw the attention of the House to the advertising campaigns being conducted by tobacco manufacturers and, in particular, to their efforts to persuade young people and children to smoke cigarettes, on which they are at the present time spending large amounts of money....Of course, this whole matter has to be judged against the background of the horrifying risks to health which have shown to be involved in the heavy smoking of cigarettes. That risk, let me add, is precisely the same whether one is dealing with the smoking of the old-fashioned, conventional, plain cigarette, or with the cigarette with the filter tip or the mentholated cigarettes which in the last few years have been entering the consumer market.

Let's not get him started on low tar cigarettes....

What should one conclude from this:

A survey of a county borough near London showed that over one-quarter of grammar school boys and over one-third of secondary modern school boys were smokers by the time they were 15, and smoking over five cigarettes a week, and often more.

When I were a lad, I did not start in my teens - unlike many of my contemporaries - as I did not have school dinner money to re-appropriate for the habit, as I was a picky blighter who took a packed lunch to school instead.  My eating habits have improved since, and I've also smoked the odd tobacco product.

And here Noel-Baker gets tendentious:

Those in this business who ought to know take the view that very few smokers can tell the difference between brands of cigarettes if they are blindfolded. Therefore, advertising campaigns are concerned with factors other than the immediate physical characteristics of the cigarettes concerned.

I have not smoked cigarettes 'professionally' for years, but I could still differentiate French from American from 'British' cigarettes.

And so to the past being another country:

Indeed, I see no reason why tobacco advertising should not be taken off the commercial television screen altogether in the same way as the advertising of spirits has. 

Go to circa 5:26 for something a little bit wonderful:

Mind you, from what I've seen - admittedly with the volume off, as I'm in a coffee shop - it is all rather good.

Furthermore, while the Parliamentary Secretary is talking to the Chairman of I.T.V. he might speak to him about smoking by performers in non-commercial programmes. I do not watch the commercial screen very frequently, but I am told by those who do that in almost any type of programme, and particularly the so-called serious political discussions, some and often all of the participants are constantly puffing away at cigarettes and offering themselves a further supply.

Yeah, yeah and he didn't read any newspaper other than The Times.

Niall MacPherson proves prescient:

The hon. Gentleman suggested that we should try to eliminate this element of what is, after all, realism from the stage and television. How far are we to carry that? Are we to edit books and censor any suggestion that smoking may give satisfaction? Has the hon. Gentleman his eye on Sherlock Holmes' pipe? Is all smoking on streets and in public places to be forbidden? One has to regard this in due proportion.

And wise:

After all, advertising in a very real sense is the hallmark of a free society. It is playing a great part in raising the standard of living in this country. It will certainly have to play its part in our efforts to expand our export trade, and we ought to think very carefully before we subject any part of it to what may be an unnecessary restriction. We should, and we do, restrict advertisements presenting misleading claims for cures and for certain other goods and activities. There is legislation to deal with that.

A one question quiz

Guess what happened in late 2008 which  *might* have influenced partisan reponses:

Found here.

Safeguarding our parliamentarians from the menace of harmonicas, tennis balls and moth spray

Some public spirited individual has FOI'd items confiscated from public visitors to the Palace of Westminster by the boys and girls in blue, and I've 'borrowed' the story from the b3ta newsletter.   The full list is here,  but highlights for the first seven months of 2011 include:

• Five (rather than seven) bells.
• One cricket ball, but two cricket bats.
• 13 darts - although not generally in the usual set of three.
• 15 footballs - making it the most popular ball sport.
• Nine harmonicas.  (Memory fails me as to which bluesman sported harps on a belt).
• 10 lightbulbs.
• Two sets of nailclippers.   
• Five police helmets (child).
• One rock -  no geologists on duty that day, obviously.
• 11 cans of shaving foam - ALL in July.
• Two tents, but just one sleeping bag.  Maybe it was a double.   

Brace yourselves for Monday

For it will be, get this, the 10th European Day of Languages.

The highlight would appear to be this:

"Androulla Vassiliou, European Commissioner for Education, Culture, Multilingualism and Youth, will sign a joint declaration with Thorbjørn Jagland, Secretary General of the Council of Europe, to re-affirm their commitment to multilingualism".

I think I might have to ask the long-suffering Mrs QG to wave the smelling salts somewhere near my nose.

Other details are far too dull to focus on, but there are some moderately interesting factlets in the footnotes to the press release.

EU translating / interpreting costs €1bn a year, or about 1% of the total budget.  Fairly alarming, frankly.

The least multilingual EU countries are Ireland (34%) and the UK (38%).  That comes as a surprise, given that our 'pupils are obliged to take Irish to Leaving Certificate level' .  (Source)  An Irishman of my acquaintance swore by the utility of the language for holding loud but private conversations while abroad.
 

The 1911 Hansard trawl, featuring the cost of living, cows, war and Brazil

The long recesses of today were also found in 1911, so I take my text from October.

First up,Working Classes (Cost of Living):

Mr. COOPER asked the Prime Minister if His Majesty' Government have any propoal to lay before the House for the purpose of securing to the working classes the means of meeting the increasing cost of living by a corresponding increase in wages?

The PRIME MINISTER (Mr. Asquith) The important business which remains to be transacted in order to complete the work of the Session is, in our opinion, sufficient to occupy the whole time of the House during the Autumn Sittings. I cannot anticipate the programme of next year.

And how exactly, did Asquith's answer address the question?  Answers on a post card please.  Secondly, guess Cooper's party.  Nope, wrong.  He was the Tory member for Walsall, and two years off ascending to a baronetcy. 

Dairy obsessives:

Mr. C. BATHURST asked the President of the Local Government Board when he proposes to introduce his long-promised Milk and Dairies Bill.

The PRESIDENT of the LOCAL GOVERNMENT BOARD (Mr. Burns) I am afraid the Government programme for the Autumn Session will not admit of the passing of a Milk and Dairies Bill this year.

Doubtless the angels wept.

Mr. C. BATHURST May I ask the right hon. Gentleman whether he proposes to introduce this measure in the early part of next Session?

Mr. BURNS  Sufficient unto the day is the goodness thereof.

Mr. WATT Will the right hon. Gentleman say whether the Bill will apply to Scotland?

Mr. BURNS No, Sir.

I'm not sure whether highland cattle, deeply stupid though they are - apparently - would have been happy or otherwise about this.

And so to international relations - Italy & Turkey

Mr. DAVID MASON   May I ask why His Majesty's Government has not offered its good offices to Italy and Turkey, with a view to the termination of hostilities?

The PRIME MINISTER His Majesty's Government do not consider that any public announcement on this subject will further the object indicated by the hon. Gentleman.

And where was the dispute taking place?  What we now know as Libya, landgrabbed by Italy from the Ottoman Empire in the Italo-Turkish war of 1911-12.   This is quite an interesting war in that Ataturk made his debut on the world stage, and the first plane borne bomb was dropped.

The seemingly slow process of diplomatic correspondence:

Mr. SPEAKER informed the House that he had received, through His Majesty's Secretary of State for Foreign Affairs, the following letter:—
Brazilian Legation, London, 11th October, 1911.

Sir,

I have the honour to bring to the knowledge of Your Excellency that the Brazilian Chamber of Deputies passed on 22nd June last a Motion congratulating the English People and the British Parliament on the Coronation of His Majesty King George V., expressing at the same time its good wishes for the happiness of His Majesty's Reign.

Baron do Rio Branco, Brazilian Minister for Foreign Affairs, desires me to place this congratulatory Motion before your Excellency with the request that it may be presented to the British Parliament.

Which was nice of them, and it would seem, appreciated:

Mr. SPEAKER I assume it is the pleasure of the House that I send a suitable reply to this communication. [General assent signified.]

Vox populi....

Gallup have been kind enough to e-mail me a new US opinion poll, so this calls for a quick and dirty on the findings:


'If the leaders of this nation followed the view of the public more closely, do you think the nation would be better off, or worse off than it is today?'

I was first accused of cynicism at the age of 11 (true story), so it would ill behove me to be too trusting of our rulers or - come to that - of Uncle Sam's rulers, but some 77% think that the US of A would be better off if they aped public opinion.  Note that 8% of Americans think Elvis might be alive, and 20% think Obama is a Muslim.    Republicans skew towards a greater belief in the public's good sense (81%) than Democrats (73%).  Higher levels of education correlate with lesser faith in public opinion - 28% of post grads think the US would be worse off if it followed public opinion, compared to 14% for those with just high school education.

Soo, how might POTUS and the whole Beltway establishment better connect with and follow public opinion?  By doing whatever is popular in this minute's opinion poll:


'If the leaders of this nation followed the view of the public opinion polls more closely, do you think the nation would be better off, or worse off than it is today?'

Doubtless Gallup would be happy to offer their services to the Federal government, at very reasonbale fees

Anyway, some 68%  think that would be a good thing, but mark that 73% thought so back in 1997.  The skew for better off is strongly weighted to the less educated and marginally so to Democrats.

A little light psephological tea leaf reading

The Boundary Commission's initial skirmishing has thrown up lots of exciting possibilities for mapping and stat crunching, and I've made a start on some seats of interest in and around my barrio.

Brentford & Isleworth is my home seat, and it grates horribly that Chiswick is not incorporated in the name, as it bloomin' well should be.  Anyway, B&I is largely left alone in the current proposals, losing just one ward, Hounslow Heath.  HH is solidly Labour, with an average vote per Labour councillor in the 2010 elections of 2,417.  The next closest contender, the Conservatives, secured an average VPC of 1,264.   As such, sitting MP Mary Macleod (Con) will benefit from the change and a 2010 election on these boundaries would have given her a significantly large majority.

Hounslow Heath and two other Hounslow wards are slated to join with sundry Richmond wards to create a seat called Teddington & Hanworth.  And this is where it gets more interesting, and the number crunching more controversial.  In the three Hounslow wards the Lib Dems only fielded one candidate to the three for the Reds and the Blues, so in order to give a valid comparison I have hypothesised that anyone who would vote for one LD would vote for three.  What those LD enthusiasts did with their other two votes is a mystery between them and the ballot box. And the tallymen at Hounslow Town Hall or wherever.  However, the only workable assumption is to triple the LD vote in the Hounslow wards so as to allow a like with like comparison with the Richmond wards.

The LDs are a potent force south of the river, leading in six of those seven Richmond wards, while Labour is not that far off lost deposit territory.  Running the 2010 numbers across the 10 wards, I get a breakdown of 19% for Labour, 41% LD and 40% Conservative.  Should make for a few recounts next time round, but worth Vincenzo Cable's making a play for this seat rather than Richmond.   

The 1911 Hansard trawl, featuring cheese, unsanitary locations and the post office.

Given that MPs took lengthy breaks then as now, this is not exactly 100 years back, but I trust I will be forgiven.  First up, the prisoners' dilemma, so to speak:

Mr. J. M. ROBERTSON  asked whether the Mahdist prisoners incarcerated at Wady Haifa after the Soudan War are still at that place, and how many remain; whether there is yet any prospect of their ever being released; whether Osman Digna is still among them; and, if so, whether the British authorities in Egypt will now allow an independent medical examination with a view to ascertaining his mental condition?

 Mr. McKINNON WOOD The only information which I have received in regard to the Mahdist prisoners at Wady Haifa subsequent to that which I gave to the hon. Member in reply to the question which he addressed to me on the 27th of April, 1909, is to the effect that these Dervish prisoners appear to be satisfied with their lot, and that they are well cared for, in excellent health, and give no trouble.

Well, always supposing they had room to whirl.  Now as every school boy knows, the mahdists were fought by Winston Churchill in one of the last cavalry charges by the British army, and that they didn't like it up em either.  As a young QG (circa 7), I saw 'Young Winston' at the Colwyn Bay Odeon with my mother and great grandmother  and was good enough to aver, amidst some on-screen drama that they should not worry as 'Winston doesn't die'.  And I was right, he didn't.  I don't think I've given away key plot points while in a cinema since.  Back at the plot, those Mahdists would have been in the Big House since 1898 at the latest.

Sticking with North Africa, a shocking revelation:
 

Mr. J. M. ROBERTSON asked whether the right hon Gentleman's attention has been called to the fact that the sanitary system of Cairo is still extremely imperfect.

Well fancy that.

Showing his customary obsession with stamps, Mr Touche:

Mr. TOUCHE asked the Postmaster General whether the General Post Office has received claims for refundment of charges in respect of unstamped envelopes or postal packets, on the ground that stamps were duly affixed but came off in transit owing to the inferior adhesive quality of the gum used by the new contractors; and whether such claims have been recognised and satisfied?

The POSTMASTER-GENERAL (Mr. Herbert Samuel) Such claims are complied with where they are well-founded.

Doubtless the Touchelets had been on diet of gruel and water because daddy had taken such a hit on postal charges. 

Ever been tempted to send milk by post?  Me neither, however....

Mr. O'SHAUGHNESSY asked the Postmaster-General if he received a memorial from the priests and people of Clouncagh, in the county of Limerick, setting out the need for a post office there, and pointing out that there is a large creamery in the locality which is greatly handicapped for want of it; that a much larger trade would be done with its customers in England if there were a post office near.

I might risk some mature cheese, I suppose.


And yet more postal shenanigans:

Mr. BARNES   asked whether the post office in the Glasgow Exhibition of 1901 was staffed by established male officers under the control of an overseer; and, if so, what special circumstances warrant the staffing of the post office in the present Glasgow Exhibition with unestablished labour under the control of a female supervisor?

Mr. HERBERT SAMUEL  The staff of the temporary branch office in the Glasgow Exhibition of 1901 was as. stated. For the reasons given on the. 1st instant to the hon. Member, in answer to a question on this subject, the arrangements made for the present exhibition are to be preferred.

A woman running a post office?  Whatever next.


A sadly missed decoration, the Imperial Service medal:

Sir C. KINLOCH-COOKE asked whether hired men leaving the Royal dockyards after twenty-five years' service with good characters are eligible for the Imperial service medal; if not, what constitutes eligibility in the case of hired men; is there any period of service and any conditions entitling a hired man to receive the medal on vacating employment when reaching the age limit?

Mr. McKENNA Only members of the established Civil Service of the State are eligible for the medal. A man who is on the hired list at the time of his retirement cannot, therefore, be granted the medal, whatever his length of service.

Sir C. KINLOCH-COOKE  Would it not be possible to consider the matter with regard to the hired men?

Mr. McKENNA  The regulations are not made by the Admiralty.

I am indebted to Wikipedia for informing me thus:  "Normally a person must have served for 25 years to become eligible, but this might be shortened to 16 years for those serving in unsanitary locations".  I wonder if an FOI request might be in order....


Riots.

Mr. RAMSAY MACDONALD   My question is whether the right hon. Gentleman has any information as to the state of Liverpool to-day, and whether he can in any way supplement the statement published this morning as to how and why rioting commenced yesterday, and whether, in view of the practically unanimous condemnation of the action of the police for having provoked the riot, he will have a special inquiry made, and accept evidence from others than members of the police force?

Mr. CHURCHILL  I think it would be convenient for me to give an answer to the question of which I have received private notice. Reports received this morning from Liverpool are to the effect that there is no improvement in the situation. The dockers have not returned to work, and the shipowners have declared a general lock-out from this afternoon. There is a good deal of rioting and disturbance, and though it proceeds mostly from the hooligan class, who began the riot last night, it is serious in character, and throughout the town attacks are being made on warehouses and factories, and even private houses. The police are being assailed in the performance of their ordinary duties.

Nothing new under the sun, is there?

The French disease:

 Sir H. KIMBER asked whether, under Section 13, Sub-section 4, of the National Insurance Bill an approved society will be allowed to refuse sickness benefit to insured persons suffering from tertiary syphilis which appears twenty or even forty years after infection, e.g., a gumma of cheek appearing after a lapse of forty years, and tabes or locomotor ataxy appearing after a lapse of twenty years?

Mr. LLOYD GEORGE Matters of this kind will be dealt with in the rules of the society, which will, of course, be framed by the society with the consent of its members and will have to be approved by the Insurance Commissioners.

And why were you so concerned, Sir Henry?  Anyway a relevant exchange and a graffito :

John Montagu, Earl of Sandwich: "Egad sir, I do not know whether you will die on the gallows or of the pox." 
John Wilkes: "That will depend, my Lord, on whether I embrace your principles or your mistress".

'Here did I lay my Celia down:  I got the pox and she got half a crown'.  From memory.  Not sure where it was inscribed.

Normal standards of decorum will now be restored.


It would seem that they knew their oats at the War Office:

Mr. STANIER asked the Undersecretary for War whether a large consignment of Russian oats is being loaded at St. Petersburg for the use of British Cavalry regiments in Great Britain; and, if so, has he taken into consideration the fact that foot-and-mouth disease is prevalent in Russia and the importation of oats is therefore a danger to the live stock of this country?
 
Colonel SEELY  Nothing is known in the War Office of any such consignment of oats.

See how I skipped a sitting duck of an innuendo possibility there?


Ministers everywhere wait for an opportunity like this one:

Colonel YATE asked whether steps have been taken to renovate the English inscription on the monument erected by the nation in the cemetery at Scutari in 1857 to the memory of the British officers and men who fell in the Crimea, which is reported to have become illegible?

And thwack:

Mr. DUDLEY WARD  The inscription on this monument was re-gilded in August last year

It looks to be in a good state of repair now too:

Further signs of the Apocalypse

Or at least the collapse in educational or sub-editing standards:

Yes, Will Gompertz (or more likely his sub) cannot spell the name of one of the most famous people in history.  The film was a TV Movie called 'Jesus', released in 1999.

Taste and good sense detected in France

I have been peering at a poll of levels of interest among the French in the forthcoming rugby world cup, and it would appear that if you want to chew the matière grasse about it with someone, the best bet is a Gaullist or MoDem voting, AB man of 65+ living in the south west.  So, not a huge surprise, all things considered, and much the same demographic as in these parts.

Equally, Far-left North Eastern women in late middle age, employed in lower end clerical work will be unlikely to be able to tell you the score, should your car grind to a halt somewhere near Lille.

Meanwhile, 3% of the population think that France will win it.  An eeyore-ish 6% forsee ( hope for?) failing to clear the group stage.  They are fifth favourites behind NZ, Oz, South Africa and us.  

Headline o' the day

What about this, from Balkan Insight:

I have long taken a rather more nuanced view than the prevailing 'Serbia bad, all its neighbours good' orthodoxy, but come on.

A new name for the Scottish 'Tories'

Should Murdo Fraser succeed in the leadership election for the Scottish Conservatives and then break from what I still think as being Smith Square, his party is going to need a new name.  Given that nothing that I have seen mooted seems particularly exciting, I have been looking at templates elsewhere, inspired by seeing a list of Guinean political parties (don't ask).

Always supposing that Fraser wants to make common cause with his ideological brethren elsewhere, a list of members of the International Democrat Union (the Blue International, so to speak) is a good starting point.  Most of them go in for 'bah, me too, I'm a sheep' names like the National Party  - Honduras and New Zealand or Conservative Party (bit of a non-starter that one) - Canada, Colombia, Norway and Nicaragua.  However, things get a bit more interesting with Estonia's Union of Pro Patria and Res Publica and France's Union for a Popular Movement.

Moving beyond full members to associates and observers, how about Russia's Right Cause?  I think that could be a first round winner.  Other possibilities are Serbia's G17+ (I'm not making this up) or a Macedonian party name which the Scots party could render as Internal Scottish Revolutionary Organization – Democratic Party for Scottish National Unity.  Or ISRO-DPSNU.

Given that this new party would hope to be a winner from Lerwick to Leith, perhaps it should borrow a name from a governing party? This allows these possibilities:

Cauri Forces for an Emerging Scotland (borrowed from Benin)
Citizens for European Development of Scotland (Bulgaria)
Patriotic Salvation Movement  (Chad)
Union for the Progress of Scotland (Guinea)
Democratic Alliance for the Betterment and Progress of Scotland (Honkers)
Pillars of Truth (Kiribati)
Rally of the Scottish People (Togo)
Scottish European National Union (Zim)

Map-related japery for any classicists out there.

I am indebted to Belgian daily Le Soir for pointing out omnesviae.org, a google maps overlay  of possible journeys for Romans, based on the Tabula Peutingeriana.  

We woad-coated Celts do not get much of a look in, with not much outside of Kent and Essex showing. 

 It extends to Parthia and Pontus though.

Anyway, give it a go - it is rather entertaining.